To have strong relationships, we must make the time to really hear and try to understand experiences that are not our own. Privilege (racial, ability, wealth, etc.) is one way to unpack how this functions. ![]() Events or issues that might seem benign or inconsequential to one person might have a real and present impact on another person's life or body. It’s incredibly important to understand that our national struggles are adversely impacting some people more than others. The strength of the relationship and the health of your communication depends on showing people they matter. Let’s talk.” Show leadership and be the first to say words like this. Don’t wait for the other person to say, “You matter to me. It’s easier to talk about hard things, and to be a little uncomfortable for someone (in a positive sense of growth), if we know they have our interests at heart. Without positive messages like “I care about you,” we often don’t know where we stand this creates insecurity, a “walking on eggshells” sensation that can destabilize relationships and cause communication breakdowns. ![]() Make sure the person knows how much they matter. We get to choose who we surround ourselves with, and we should surround ourselves with those who will respect our well-being and right to exist, even if they disagree with us sharply. Remember that it is not necessary for us to be close to or show affection to everyone in the world. It's also possible to show respect and concern from afar, to engage in limited ways, and to advocate for that person to get what they need without internalizing their discord. ![]() If you believe you are dealing with such a person, it is sometimes the best strategy to walk away and protect yourself. These individuals typically will not recognize or respect healthy boundaries. That said, sometimes our attempts to create healthy boundaries will fail because there are people in the world who are abusive, belligerent, manipulative, don’t have the needs of others in mind, and will not listen to any kind of reason. For the health of the relationship, it's vitally important to communicate and agree on where boundaries should lie.
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